growth or something idk

guys, it's crazy when you look back a couple months or a year a few years. so much can change in such a short period of time, it's amazing. i was thinking a lot about this yesterday and it's just so strange to think about who i was last year. at the time i thought i was pretty happy, but i look at myself now and its actually incredible how much happier i am. i'm free of exhausting relationships. i have amazing friends who always know what i need. i'm a pretty lucky girl :)

I'm alive! I just got back to school and I'm ready to get down and dirty. I honestly really hate missing school because then I have to make up the work and it just gets so complicated and I'm really bad at doing things on time. I'm a really really big procrastinator...anyways tomorrow is late late start. I actually really don't want a late start because it throws off my sleeping schedule. Plus I would much rather have an early release. Recently I've been really getting into stories, poetry, and spoken word. Especially spoken word, it's so inspiring and I'll just sit there doing homework and listening to spoken word and it really motivates me to not get distracted by the things of the world and that I should be focusing on gaining knowledge and that I am beautiful in every way. I think my favorite spoken word person is Jon Jorgenson. He is really spiritual and inspiring and also his voice is very soothing. If I'm ever feeling down, I he'd to youtube and listen to some of his works. Also it's been warming up again and I couldn't be happier because it means I can wear dresses and shorts and shirt sleeves! Anyways that's all for now! Bye!

teenagers and brains don't work together

well lately its been hectic lets put it that way and for our Jackie its been worse. Last Saturday night, Jackie and me and Keara's "friend" david were at sodalicious being real dumb. Jackie rode the hood and David turned in the parking lot and Jackie fell. all seemed okay until we couldn't see her responding to us. I ran out of the car screaming her name. David moved her onto her back and all in seconds, she went into a seizure. I have never been so scared but as David held her head, I called 911 and as I got off the phone, she came out of the seizure confused and scared. as she begged us to let her get up, she could not comprehend what had just happened but we had to let her sit down in the car. as I called sis buck and as Keara was on live facetime, the gilbert police and the fire department responded in 2 minutes flat. as I tried to explain what had happened to multiple paramedics and police and family, I just couldn't stop shaking. David was in shock and just as scared as I was. Sis buck and her friend raced over from the cars to jackie who was getting looked at with the EMTs. (to my understanding this is when sis buck punched in the stomach 😂) so then we got the repitive words from the officer of okay now what exactly happened and I swore I had to tell this story to every individual there. soon there was a tiny moment of calm that ended as I walked over to david who was sitting on the asphalt crying through the shock and we cried together praying that everything was going to be okay. not more than 20 minutes later, they put jackie on a stretcher into the ambulance headed to chandler regional for the best head trauma treatment. As they left, Davids parents came and Cheryl stayed with me as my hands were shaking so hard that I could barely comprehend anything through mascara and all. after I reassured david that everything was okay and talked to Keara on the phone, my momma came and we went home,although I didn't speak I just cried from fear. My battery at 3%, I called Leslie and talked to her for a very long time till I could honestly feel no more shaking in my hands. The morning was full of updates from Keara and sis buck and me just DYING to see by best fried be okay. She had a couple CT scans and they had found bleeding in her brain that luckily stopped by Sunday afternoon. We couldn't visit her in the ICU but me and Kirsten sure as heck facetimed her. the amount of relief that I had from seeing her act herself was just what I needed.

this is a life lesson you guys haha car hoods are not as fun as you think they are and im probably the luckiest to say that jackie is "A++" headaches and all, she is in one piece💕